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Dealing with criticism

We all love criticism or ‘feedback’ don’t we?

You are fired!

No -we don’t- yet it’s something that’s going to come at us whether we like it or not. Much of our discomfort about it stems from hating the sense of ‘being wrong’.

1) Value?

Check out the criticism for value: is there something useful you can learn from it. Sometimes there isn’t but often there’s something valuable you can gain from the experience.

2) Data

Take it as just ‘data’ rather than a personal attack:  NLP asks us to consider all ‘failures’ as just feedback about how we can do it better next time ( check out my free podcast for more on this)

3) Use it

Some people find criticism is the perfect opportunity to prove the other person was mistaken in their opinion; they fine tune their performance and surprise the critic with their brilliance. They suggest fighting quietly, with intelligence and avoiding confrontation. Certainly don’t waste your energy trying to change someone’s opinion with an argument- it tends to further deepen their position rather than loosen it

4) Trust

Trust yourself knowing you are fundamentally a great and valuable person- you won’t get everything right all the time, and that’s ok- be nice to yourself and show some self compassion. Using this as a way of learning  where things didn’t go as planned will mean you will always be steering a course straight towards a great future.




About Phil Parker

Phil specialises in the psychology of health, happiness and genius.

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